Nutty Cluster
We
had come in the rain that winter evening, to Mass.
From
the balcony I watched the priest moving with a swagger
of
vestments about the altar; a drone of lulling Latin sustaining a congregation held tight in their obligation and damp coats.
Their expiration - waxen, mildew, incense - rising up to me,
the
smell measuring off a sad, dogged virtue still.
The
walk back was happy though; a family shrivenlight with righteousness, putting aside the week past,
not yet obliged to face the one ahead; she said we could fill
white paper triangles in the sweetshop by the corner -
allsorts, ruffles, nutty cluster- small sandbags against want.
At home the furniture was pulled forward to the red coals;
a borderline defined against darkness and cold. Out there,
beyond the backs of the circled chairs was Indian country.
We were hermetic here; colluding in our secret wisdom - this was
the best that life could offer - signalling our joy in steady dips
into the small bags as the cornered television glowed. We
watched contestants tried to win things. People laughed
as others sacrificed themselves for the chance of bounty.
She rejoiced in the doubling of money as the striking of a blow
against where and what she now was and would forever be.
“I like to see them getting something for nothing”. She said it
emphatically, hard-eyed as an acolyte in a growing faith; the argument
airtight, and the saying of it a simple mystery and no less.
It was sympathetic magic which could not be denied; these TV poppets,
keeping the fires warming, holding the darkness forever at bay.
We
had come in the rain that winter evening, from Mass.
GOING
TO CHURCH
Driving
through chalk wold proved like kneaded dough,
aquaplaning
along shiny slick spider web roads,I am going to church. Through car windows lies
exhausted
prairie steaming like piled pelts -
an
abraded landscape anonymous of hedge, fence, farmhouse. The mist lifts: Haugham church
becomes
a vacant ark precarious on the hill top;
a
cynosure no eye will turn towards, guiding no-one with bell peal or promises – saved but not sacramental.
Squires,
tenants, faith all ebbed away, leaving
this
spatchcocked church, a spineless gallery, cold triumphs and tragedies recalled across wall
and
window. Hudson, Eve, Pearson, Anton: names,
like
blade bones thrown on the flagged aisles, rattling about this reliquary, foretelling nothing.
Spire-spiked in
its allotment of hawthorn, holly, elder;
a church redundant amid scoured fields onceswarming with those who cut and carried stone,
sawed
wood, turned earth, sowed, planted, harvested;
who
stayed honest too long to the covenant binding all together to this place. Their fields have been stripped
right
before them. The community of the faithful,
working
now in factory, bar or office; wondering at the provenance of the plenty on supermarket shelves.
Here
a fox is dug deep into a grave. Here a yew, roots
half
torn up and leaning, becomes a lych gate receiving the dead. Here is a church unworthy of the coming.
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